I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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