About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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