Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize