walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
