She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My vagina just recognized that song.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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