omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
