I think I am morally bankrupt
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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