There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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