there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
