Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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