Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
