puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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