Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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