Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
