dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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