My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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