the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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