Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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