My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
