dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
