Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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