I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
