piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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