A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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