Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
