I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
