fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
