Umm I'm too high to move.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
