it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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