We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
