this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
