he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize