Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
