mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
its not stalking. its research.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
