I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
