Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
