I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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