everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
