Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
