you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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