I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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