Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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