we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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