I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize