I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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