haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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