Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
