Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
