I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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