I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize