So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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