Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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