Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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