When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I could fuck to npr.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
