dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
