I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
