So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
