Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
