I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
